Promises

Recently, I heard a touching story. There was this guy who admires and like a lady. So he asked her, "Can U be my girlfriend?" The girl replied, "When u find your first million, I will be your girlfriend."
11 years later, the guy earned his millions and approached the lady again. The lady was surprised and remembered her promise. Alas, at that time she already had another boyfriend. In this story, I do admire the guy and if I am the lady, I will consider him.

This brings back my memory to 11 years ago where I too made a similiar remark. At that time, there was a man who shown his interest in me. But I was not ready for any relationship. So I said, "if after 10 years, I am still single, I am willing to be your special friend."

Move forward to present, I ask myself if this man will appear now and ask, "Are u willing to be my special friend now?" Firstly, I will be touched by his persistence. Secondly, I do miss him now and then. Lastly, my answer to him? That is for him to hear only.

Anyway, I am back to my cheerful self after a few days of being unhappy. I really enjoy writing on my blog. It helps to bring back my cheerful self back.

Thanks, Mr. DJ for reminding to write on my blog again. 

Life is fragile

Read that one former actress who was same age with me died recently. Reading and hearing this news make me realised that I must live my life happily everyday, do the things I like and most of all, love myself more.

Should I do things that is beyond my principles to achieve happiness? Should I love without restraint? Yes, we should live the life we want to and do things we want to without harming anyone else.

Afterall, life is fragile. I may not know what tomorrow brings for me but at least I know that I have lived my life the way I want it to be. Yes, I want to be able to say like the title of a famous song, "I did it my way".

Life continues

Cloudy. Happy or sad, we still live our life but why do I still feel unhappy. I used to think that my motto is to be happy all the times as everyday is a present.

Unhappy days will pass. Bright shiny day will come soon. Must be positive in thinking. Everything will be alrite or back to happy days soon.

Why I am still feeling the blues today?

Love

Love. What is this little thing called love? It is not little if you are in love. For someone like me, I have been in love and out of love. When in love, everything seems great and nice, sweet and lovey dovey. How about when out of love, hatred will come knocking the door. Next come, sadness and followed by emptiness.

When I out of love, I no longer understand why I love that person in the first place. I started seeing that person in a different light and see his bad points for what it is. I no longer see the goodness in him and why I fall in love with him in the first place. If it is possible, I want to delete that part from my memory. Is this feeling occurs out of the betrayal or the sadness that I felt? This is not as hard to deal with as the emptiness that comes along. The empty feeling in the heart as it no longer belongs to anyone.

I have loved and lost in love but if love comes along now, will I long for the experience of love again, yes if I meet the right person.

I believe if I am in love with someone, no matter, if he comes to my life again in 5 years or 10 years time, the love is still there as it has never left in the first place.

Friends

Do friends keep their words or promises? I have one friend who is always late in picking me up whenever we go out. Sometimes is one hour late. Huh, that late, she must have started driving from her house at the promised time to meet and not earlier. Sad to say our friendship did not last. Can understand why.

Being punctual is a good attribute. Being late, sigh can u imagine sitting and waiting for someone for an hour and then she turns up. Feel like scolding them on the spot. Or forget it and shorten the friendship as she din bother to turn up on time.

Should a person be judged by her punctuality? As for me, waiting for an hour is the limit but has been made by friends to wait for more than an hour. Sigh.

Blogging

Writing again on my blog definitely make me happy and driving away the monday blues

Why I started writing on my blog after an absence of 7 years? It is because last nite I listened to a DJ radio who said that to relieve the frustration, we must write it out, either in a diary or blog. Ha ha ha, this is another way to voice our feelings.

Yeah, be positive in life and life will definitely change for better.

Nagging

I have been nagged for the past whole week and this is making me unhappy. Why a person nags another person? Does this mean he cares or loves the other person.

I look at it positively. That person must care for me that he takes his time to nag me.

Caring and loving someone is a peculiar thing.

Monday Blues

Feeling blue today. Must be the Monday blue. The sun is still shining brightly while my heart is painful.

Well, we should always look forward in our life, to a better and brighter tomorrow with the hope that happiness will come tomorrow.

Maybe is going to work which is making me blue or my bruised heart that is causing the misery I am feeling right now.

To put myself on the right track to better mood, I will try to think of tomorrow, a better day and definitely, a shining day.

Injured thumb

A few days ago I slam the car door on my thumb. Now, it is bruised and black. Initially, it was green, then blue before turning black. It was really painful. The pain is lesser now.

I have never realised how important my right thumb is until the injury. Now I can't even bath properly, do housework, dress properly etc. The pain is still there. Now my right thumb is numb with pain.

My brother has been doing the cooking, washing etc. He did not grumble. But I feel bad as I should be the one taking care of him.

My fridge broke down today. The price to fix it was high. Will be looking at other repairer.

Hope that my right thumb will recover soon. I miss my right thumb.

A new job

At last I found a new job. Now waiting for their letter of appointment before tendering my resignation letter. A new start to a new job and an end to present job. I feel happy that at last i managed to find a new job after years of looking for one.

I just can't wait to give my resignation letter as I no longer want to work in my present firm. Last year my increment was low, a 50% off my previous increment. The bonus was half month for the past two years. I was very disappointed with my present boss. He only knows how to pocket all the profits without distributting to the staff.

My new company is located in front of the lrt station so it is convenient for me. The working days are from monday to friday which is what I want. One thing not so good is that it does not have any chinese food stall in its surrounding area. Most likely have to eat bread for lunch. Good for the diet as I has gained a lot of weight.

Religion

Recently read in the newspaper, a minister threaten that anyone who comment on his religion, they will be detained and lock up. He claims this is sensitive issue. Luckily he did not say that the person who comment will be executed. Nope, in case u are wondering, I am living in a democratic country, and not a communist country.

I wonder at his statement. I always thought constructive comment is good to listen to. Anyway, I am not interested in his religion neither will I comment as I only give my opinion to anyone if I care about that issue. I do not like giving free ideas or unpaid opinion about anything. He must be thinking that people has nothing better to do than comment on his religion.

My frustrations

Today is a holiday and i feel frustrated as I think of my attempts to get a new job for the past two years. Yeap, two years I try to find a job, go for interviews and nothing comes out of it. I am still working in the same Company.

I started to detest everything about the Company. The way it is run, one will feel like working a communists company. It is run by a dictator who checks on anything going out of the office and any incoming mail. Instead of doing things to improve the profitability of the Company, he is doing petty things line checking mails. Imagine if he is the Managing Director of a big corporation, then he will be a busy man indeed. Yeah reading incoming mails and checking outgoing documents. Is this the behaviour of a boss?

Asking for a ball liner pen. And I still did not get it after four months. The reason it is out of stock. It seems that it is run by some incompetent individuals. Asking for the leave balance. It takes two years and no response. I went to see the boss and ask him to tell the incompetent to give me my leave balance.

The salary, it is now being given only on the following month. The lists will go on and on about this lousy Company.

Well, will keep on trying to look for a job. Give up? Never! Hope to find one real soon.

New Year Resolutions

Time flies and now is year 2006. My dad has gone for more than a year. I am still my optimistic self. Have been looking for job for over two years and still unable to find one. The one I am working in is not a good company. The boss does not look into staff welfare and he pays badly.

My new year resolution is to keep looking for job until I find a good one. No matter how tough, will not give up trying. I also will try to lose weight. Managed to lose some weights in year 2005. Hopefully can lose more weights in year 2006.

I will try to save more money and don't invest much in share markets. Have been losing money in share markets. Do not seem to earn any from share market. Must be my luck. It seems I must work hard for my money.

Oh, I must also try my best to find true love in year 2006. It is as difficult as finding a job. To find someone who I like and then love is not easy.

Will keep trying until I fulfill all my new year resolutions. Never give up. Who knows an angel may smile at me.

Shanghai Trip

I went to Shanghai with a female I knew through my advertisement for travelling partner. She is the exact version of room mate from hell. She is the most annoying person. She is married. Just make me wonder which idiot/fool marries this woman. Must be living a life in hell with such a person.

My trip to Shanghai is fine except for her. Shanghai is a nice place but the shopping is so so. I still feel London or Paris is the best place to shop. The clothes is not my cup of tea. The fashion is just not to my taste. Most of the clothing on sale is winter clothing. Not suitable for Malaysia hot weather. Buy some winter clothing.

The weather is cold. If it rains, it is shivering cold. I did shiver once or twice. Nice experience. As in Malaysia, one can never encounter such cold weather.

Went to Hangzhou. There is the west lake. I find the scenery nice but not spectacular. As compared to Guilin, the boat ride along the lake in Guilin was spectacular with beautiful mountains of all size.

In Wuxi, I was facinated by the gigiantic buddha statute and gigiantic buddha hand. I prayed for a better future and maybe able to meet my true love in year 2006.

Suzhou, nothing much to see. Visited the silk factory. Bought some silk quilt and pillow.

I visit the Dr Sun Yat Sen memorial park in Nanjing and saw the bridge. Supposed to be second longest bridge in China. It takes a lot of stamina on my part to climb the steps to see the tomb stone of Dr Sun Yat Sen. But I managed to reach the top and pay my respect.

Bought some sovenir from my trip to China. It is one exhausting trip. I fell sick when I return. Probably from lack of sleep. I am one of those who can sleep well only on my own bed.

The next trip to China will be to Beijing etc. Maybe in one or two years time.

Long Holiday break

At last the long holiday for me, the Deepavali and Hari Raya festival are on. Have been tired and still feeling tired after the shopping, trip to butterfly park and staying at home. Did not really get to enjoy much and two days of the holidays have passed. The third day of the holiday is today. So what am I doing now.

Watching over the part time maid who is now ironning the clothes. She looks tired too as she has been to Malacca, a state in Malaysia for two days for holidays. The weather today also makes one sleepy as it is hot with breeze.

Everyone seems to go somewhere for holidays. I will be having a long holiday too. On the 19 November, 2005, I will be in Shanghai, China. I will be there for seven days and six nights. Will post my adventure in Shanghai soon. Shanghai, here I come ..............

death anniversary

Last Friday was my dad's death anniversary. He is sadly missed by everyone who loved him. He has passed away suddenly last year. I miss his cooking and his presence. A man of few words. That's my dad.

If I can turn back the clock, I wish he is still alive. I really miss him. Wherever he is now, I hope he is fine and happy.

a new car

I and my brother have bought a new car. It is quite big. My brother is presently driving the car. I am still learning. I have been driving car manually for the last twenty years. This new car is an auto. So that is why I am still learning.

My brother has been sitting by my side while I am driving the car. He comment this and comment that. When I was driving my previous car, he has said my parking is lousy. Now with the auto, it is still the same.

He seems more worried and tense than me everytime I drive the car. I have drove the car thrice already since we bought it two weeks ago. He said I am a careless driver. I stop the car too far away from the front car. I deem it as careful. He deems it as asking to be knocked by another car. He already said that too far away from the front car may cause the car at the back to knock into our car.

I also do not know why. I like to park my car slant to one side. I guess I do not have a sense of direction. Oh, I am still learning, after twenty years of driving a car the manual way. Hope to become an expert soon, he he he ...........

travelling partner

I loves travelling but I have problem looking for travelling partner. So I decided to advertise for a female travelling partner in one of the local website. I receive all kinds of responses. When I advertised, I specifically state that I was looking for a female to travel with. But 50% of the respondents are male and one lesbian. The lesbian scares me off with her strong tactics which include mushy emails and calls.

The males are from all races, really malaysian. There are malay, indian, chinese etc. There are some married men and some looking for short term relationship. Some can't even spell properly. Which makes me wonder are these teenagers or grown men. Married man who is looking for a short fling. That's disgusting.

There is one whom I have written several emails to her. We got along fine until she starts lying about herself. She proclaimed she is a finance manager who is working in a public listed company in Kulim. The truth is she can't even spell the word, "friend" which makes me doubted her. So I stopped writing to her as I do not need liar as friend.

I managed to find one to go travelling to Shanghai with. She is married with two kids. She seems ok to me. We have met and have booked a trip to Shanghai. So here I go with my new found friend to Shanghai in November 2005. Hope it is not too cold in Shanghai.

Passport renewal

My passport has expired long ago. Did not renew it because have stopped travelling for a few years. Decided to continue travelling for the coming years so went to renew the passport.

The application for renewal was a breeze. Waited for only one hour. The collection of passport was terrible. The queue was long and waited for more than two hours to collect the passport. There are so many people that there are not enough seats for every one. By the time I collected the passport, there are still more than one hundred people waiting for their turn. Guess the immigration department will have to work overtime to distribute the passport.

Glad it is over. Managed to get my passport. Dread to think of the renewal in 5 years time. Hopefully the system will be improved. The wait is no longer that long. Or it becomes worse, have to wait for hours to collect passport. Just keep for my fingers crossed.

Job Interview

Everyone has been to a job interview before. It is a most nerve wrecking experience for a lot of people. But for some people, it can be fun. To me, an interview is process whereby the interviewer assesses the potential candidate. The job seeker assessing the Company and the interviewer who most likely will be the superior.

For some interviewer, the way they conduct the interview leaves much to desire. They treat the job seeker like beggars. Beggars who beg for a job. There are some so called human resource managers who are supposed to be well trained in this matter act like an ass hole. She behaves as if she is interviewing a beggar. She creates a bad impression of her company. For who will like to join such company. An interview is supposed to be when the interviewer introduces her company and create a good impression of her company. I have came across such interviewer. The first thing that comes to my mind is walk out of the interview. But manners pervail.

There is one time I waited three hours to be interviewed. The reason is the human resource manager had the time of the interview wrong. Oh god, what kind of manager is this. Pity us who took leave for the interview. Then there is once, the interview was conducted by three persons, the human resource manager, the finance manager and the legal manager. DO they really need three persons to interview the candidate? The finance manager keeps on and on to talk bad about the job. Is this an interview or what? Do they want the people to accept the job? I do not know what to call it. I just smile like an idiot throughout the interview. Yeah, that's should be the way. As the interview was on, I was thinking, "oh my god, do i have to work with these bunch of idiots." Yeap, I did not get the job for they see me smiling like an idiot.

Interviews, I love to attend them provided they are conducted professionally. To me it is fun. You get to meet all kinds of people. Seeing the behavior of some of them makes me smile. How many know how to conduct an interview the right way. A lot. But I have yet to come across one.