Going to the GYM

Happy. After many stressful days/weeks, I finally go to the gym this morning. I did the cross trainer for 40 minutes and I am surprised that I can do that after many years of no-exercise. The feeling that I have after the gym is I am more relaxed and happy. It sure has destressed me some how and I feel wonderful.

I should have did the Zumba too but I was a bit reluctant as I feel that the dance may be too tough for me to follow. However, after watching the Zumba for thirty minutes, I think I will join next week. It is a good workout and if I am not wrong, it is some sort like modern dance. Modern dance, I like it so I will join the next class.

Stressful. It has been a very very and extremely stressful weeks for me and this has been going on for the last few weeks. Work is compiling and all are very urgent so much so that I dont know which to do first. This will go on for another few weeks. Guess, have to go to gym more often to destress.

May do a bit of travelling and most like going to Spore next week. So after all the hard stressful work, finally I can go somewhere to enjoy myself.

Ups and Downs in Life

Calm. After a few days of being unhappy and sad, I feel calm now. Calm because I have taken a few days leave away from office works. The feelings are great. This shows how much I dislike my office/company. 

Happy. I have made some decision on a few matters affecting my careers and life. I am happy that at last I resolved some issues and I no longer feel tense or unhappy.

Downs. I no longer feel sickening when I think of my heavy work load. I may not be able to complete my work and now I understand that there is a limit to do what I am able to do. If the work is not complete, it is definitely not my fault as I have already given my best to do it. I no longer feel the need to act like "Superwoman" in my career/work as I will just take it easy as the work comes. On the other hand, I am not "Wonderwoman" who can do wonders for the operation of my department.
Ups. Whatever that comes down will go up one day. While we are down, we should get ready to be up one day so there is no need to feel that bad or sad. 

Guess, in life there is always ups and downs. Whenever we are down, we look around us and find that there are other people who are in worse situation than us. Guess, I am not in that bad situation or I am better off than most people.

Letting go of the past

Sad. I have to let go of my past. It is full of good, sad and bad memories and I am letting go everything as there is no need to think of memories anymore.

I was driving the other day after tea time with my friend, when I saw the logo of my ex-company, it brought back sad and painful memories of the time when I was working there. As I was driving back home, tears drop from eyes. Yes, I was sad before and I still feel sad whenever I think of it.

It is time to let go of the past and move on. There is no need to remember anything anymore. I have no regret of the time in the past as it has made me into what I am today. Tougher and stronger.

It is time to move on. Yeah, move on a to a better present and a brighter future.

Still a sad day

Sad. It is still a sad day for me today. I feel so sad and unhappy.

My superior agreed to let me have an additional staff after all the protest I made but it is too late as I already made up my mind to leave the Company. I dont think after all the difficulties I go through in asking for staff and after I made up my mind to leave the Company, I have no intention of staying anymore. My superior should have agreed to my request for a staff in the first place and not put me through the hassle.In the end, I got real fed up and decided to leave the Company. Then, only he said, "Yes" to my request. It is all too late as I have enough of everything that goes along with it.

Now I realise that I do have a weak point that is once I made up my mind to do something, most likely I will not change my mind. Guess, I am just a stubborn woman.

I have given plenty of chances to my superior and Company when I asked for addtional staff. I asked not once but many times until I lost count. Frustrated and dejected is how to describe my feelings when they disapprove of it. After that, I show my annoyance and disappointment. On seeing that, they relent and agreed to my request for additional staff. But alas, too late. I have made up my mind to leave the Company.

I found that in love, it is the same. After giving so many chances to a person and if that person does not bother to do anything, I may as well forget the whole thing.

Guess, life being like a movie, there is going to be a different ending for each and every role I play throughout my life. Well, is time to move on.

A sad day

Sad. Today is a sad day.I dont know why but I am feeling really unhappy. I have started the year 2013 with sickness and sadness. The sadness just arrive. I just no longer feel happy. As I think of the past and the present, I feel that life is nothing but a movie. A movie whereby a person plays out a role. Is it that important then to be so miserable as I am feeling now?

Today is going to be a miserable day for me. As I sat in my office room, seeing the piles of endless work, I feel a tinge of sadness that this is not going to end unless I leave the Company. The Company is not giving me additional staff. That is the sad truth.

Maybe part of me is sad that I have worked in this Company for 4 years and I have to leave bcoz I no longer can take the work load. This is not how I want my life to be.

Last Sunday, I had lunch with one of my long long friend who I have not seen in ages. After the lunch, I suddenly feel that life has been good to me but not that good. What have I achieved in my life. A career? Yeah, I am working and living a dog life in this Company. My personal life?

Am I happy? Sad to say I am feeling really miserable right now.

My regret in life

My regret in life is that I have never found someone who loves me very much and whole heartedly. I have never enjoyed the feeling of being truly loved by someone. The past boyfriends I have were never really in love of me. Anyway, no regrets breaking up with those ex of mine as I also never really love them anyway.

Sometimes I ask myself, have I really love anyone before. Sad to say this, no man has ever make me falls head over heel in love with him. This make me realise that either I am in love with myself or no man is ever worth my loving him.

There was once I thought I was in love but I was over him in weeks after the break up. Until today, I can't really understand why I like him in the first place. Man like him is not worth the time and I wasted my time on someone as .... as him. Sometimes I wonder if the clock is turned back, I will definitely 100% not like him. I found him to be childish and immature.

Yeah, recently I found myself praying hard that I will meet someone who loves me very much. Guess, deep inside I want to find true love before I meet my creator.

Dinner with an old friend

Just have dinner with an old friend. We will talking and I realised how she and I have grew older. The year, 2013 has come and I will be ..... in a few years time.

As I looked back in life, I always felt my career should have gone further than it is now. Not that I am not happy with what I am having. There was this hindrance to my career in my thirties and I was out of work for a year. Yes, I paid my dues and I owe nobody nothing anymore.

My old friend was doing well too but she worked very late practically everyday of her life. How to have a social life with this kind of long working hours. Come to think of it, I also come home at 9 pm practically every night from work. Yeah, dead tired.

When will I find a better job and perhaps have an improved lifestyle. More time for myself and not working most of the time. Just now, I heard a deejay said, we must love ourself more than anything else.

Yeah, life is short and it is about time I move away from this company who expects a lot of sacrifice in terms of time etc but gives very little in return.

My old friend, you too must love yourself more and move away from that company you are working in as it is not good if you don't have a social life. Take care, my friend and may you find someone who loves you a lot.

My First Crush on a young man

Sweet. My first crush on a young man happened when I was a teenager. Both of us were studying at the same tuition centre. He is a very smart and intelligent young man. We argued with each other, until once, he push his table away from him in an angry manner. At that time, I found this to be amusing. I was there at the tuition centre for several months and left the tuition centre without saying goodbye to him.

More than 20 years later, I found out that one of my friend knew him. He is doing very well and graduated with a PHD from one of the top university in the world.

Life is always such that when one least predicted some events to happen and it does happen. Will I say Hi to him if I happen to bump into him one day? Yes, I will.

My first crush, I am glad that you are doing well and hope that you will find success in life.